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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86127) - you deserved it (3551)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25800) - you deserved it (42936) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29962) - you deserved it (5829)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (2889)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (24834)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (3199)
On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (1383)
On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (4658)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (4894)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22323) - you deserved it (3584)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (906)
On 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm - work - by hannaslifesucks (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20312) - you deserved it (3073)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (3457)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (3534)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (1905) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Monday 17 June 2013
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