About Trainspotting : Hello there! As you probably noticed, I'm english, which seems exotic to the Yanks out there, but hey-ho. My comments are usually either cheesey or full of beautiful English wit and banter, which is probably why you're here in the first place, because you don't understand it. Poor you.
Another note; yes, I have very blue eyes. This is why I have a gorgeous picture of a cat that doesn't belong to me as my profile picture. I am 16, live up north, (no, I'm not a bloody farmer!) and I am very peaceful, yet prone to insults, which are usually cutting. Like this one. Your grammar and sense of wit is shockingly appalling and Ofsted probably rated your school, 'satisfactory.' See, a good example of english wit. Also, I'm prone to ranting, chit-chatting and drinking tea. As you probably noticed.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (8948)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (1859)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (4467)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (2020)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (9535)
On 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden (Hallands Lan)
Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17813) - you deserved it (2617)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (2164)
On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)
Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (9996)
On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States
Today, I found out that since I stopped shaving my legs, my boyfriend and his friends have started referring to me as a Wookiee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9847) - you deserved it (52485)
On 05/27/2011 at 4:57pm - misc - by FMLer (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (9443)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (4310)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12642) - you deserved it (36181)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38802) - you deserved it (10398)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (3036) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (8016)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Monday 17 June 2013
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