Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TraceCase_

Search for a member

TraceCase_

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1634
  • Number of comments : 318
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TraceCase_ : I think FML is funny as hell, as are many of the comments I read. Some really worry me. I'm thinking about building some sort of a school, like a center maybe, for kids who can't read good ;)

TraceCase_'s page activity

Visits<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:57am<b>moldypickles</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:34am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:42pm<b>MinaGermania</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:09pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:42am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:33pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:55am<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 12:49pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 9:10pm<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:35am<b>Joel_Morris</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:42am<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 12:39pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 3:41am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:39pm<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:37am<b>RawrImaDragon</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 6:54pm<b>MissCharlotte</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:12pm

TraceCase_'s FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of TraceCase_'s badges

TraceCase_'s favorite FMLs

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47053) - you deserved it (17066)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56596) - you deserved it (3891)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45376) - you deserved it (8323)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45536) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (4213)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (4590)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (2335)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (23718)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (8796)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (1546)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (3046)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (6862)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2041)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: