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TrIsTaNNFraNsis

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TrIsTaNNFraNsis
  • Town/Country : Watsonville, U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 158
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TrIsTaNNFraNsis's favorite FMLs

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35130) - you deserved it (3015)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58838) - you deserved it (8488)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

#7571238
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (5739)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:46pm - health - by Thorin (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9408) - you deserved it (64275)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

#5141391
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (4733)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48890) - you deserved it (10163)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56440) - you deserved it (12549)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

#1408593
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12405) - you deserved it (48615)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Radgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66955) - you deserved it (2596)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213908) - you deserved it (73290)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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