Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TrIsTaNNFraNsis

Search for a member

TrIsTaNNFraNsis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 239
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TrIsTaNNFraNsis's page activity

Visits<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:24am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Cloveland99</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 8:11pm<b>bosox29</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 3:36am<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:04am<b>ThatWasMe</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:21am<b>AboveAll04</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:07pm

TrIsTaNNFraNsis's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

TrIsTaNNFraNsis's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (2420)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52593) - you deserved it (5898)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49501) - you deserved it (5680)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54102) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53683) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

#20576546
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (8910)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by pot, meet kettle (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (3524)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

#19992100
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8972) - you deserved it (22358)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (8042)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML

#18523921
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (12234)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34800) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (9734)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45159) - you deserved it (13021)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: