Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tpracingkg

Offline (the 11/07/2014 at 8:34am) | Search for a member

Tpracingkg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 April 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5091
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tpracingkg : Diabetes is hell

Tpracingkg's page activity

Visits<b>guitarman789</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:51pm<b>thatguy7878</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:31am<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Bobby100</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:05pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:31am<b>littleteapot</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:20am<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:50am<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:45am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:33pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:42pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:05pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:19am<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 6:22am<b>ghostytocute1000</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 2:31am<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 10:13pm

Tpracingkg's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Tpracingkg's badges

Tpracingkg's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (4400)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41235) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52075) - you deserved it (17684)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39453) - you deserved it (6077)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34119) - you deserved it (9909)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34647) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35451) - you deserved it (4536)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (8455)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (7930)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (2550)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (41355)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59157) - you deserved it (5974)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: