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Toxic_John

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Toxic_John

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5625
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Toxic_John : I love sk8tin

Toxic_John's page activity

Visits<b>dzidziaud</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 11:54am<b>td32</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 3:43pm<b>so_me</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 8:47am<b>ISandra</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 7:48pm<b>xkilroyx</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 12:01am<b>farming</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 3:54pm

Toxic_John's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Toxic_John's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (221821) - you deserved it (27696)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

#851826
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15103) - you deserved it (84966)

On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (249445) - you deserved it (42018)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97756) - you deserved it (30255)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

#556029
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (87112)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13447) - you deserved it (121337)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (59275)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173465) - you deserved it (30345)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241707) - you deserved it (32150)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (104359)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML

#369529
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80008) - you deserved it (14376)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (263808) - you deserved it (48296)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States



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