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Offline (the 06/23/2015 at 9:27pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14476
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 12:47pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:37pm<b>drtweed</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:33pm<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 7:16pm<b>wobbly1</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:22am<b>Vnqsh</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:26am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:35pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:38pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:22am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:44pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:31am<b>WingWalker</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:05pm<b>chrissy0</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:40am<b>shinymaster3000</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:29am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:40am<b>mswhatever</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:44pm

Fucked!<b>jogihoppa8343</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 6:48pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 9:37pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:53am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:13am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:04am

TorturedXeno's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TorturedXeno's badges

TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

by User / 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

by ElizaZee / 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

by I have wood / 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

by jfanous / 09/01/2013 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

by happyturtle / 09/01/2013 at 5:57am / Croatia / Intimacy