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TorturedXeno

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TorturedXeno
  • Town/Country : Louisiana... might as well be a different country
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2523
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About TorturedXeno : Favorite internet memes (in order of precedence): 1) If you know what I mean 2) Doge 3) You don't say? 4) Troll face

Message me if you want to have a conversation or just for small-talk. Doesn't matter.

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45180) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (2392)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (11128)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (3787)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48919) - you deserved it (5228)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I again failed to convince my girlfriend that the $100 in our account is the minimum amount we have keep there to avoid being charged by the bank. We have a joint checking account, and the only way to take her off it is to close the account outright. FML

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (13723)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (4659)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (84920)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53814) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (4446)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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