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TorturedXeno

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TorturedXeno

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5879
  • Number of comments : 363
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>Toodle_doo</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:22am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:22am<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:07pm<b>capblack</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:57pm<b>muzy</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Komaeda</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:31pm<b>cherries62212</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:47pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Rinat</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:45pm<b>freedomflyer12</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:23am<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:59am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 8:52am<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:54am<b>zombiecrayon173</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:51am<b>MellowWalrus</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:26am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:27am<b>mathen</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:22am

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51119) - you deserved it (5307)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (4109)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (50188)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46681) - you deserved it (5055)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28041) - you deserved it (32342)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (3090)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45300) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55291) - you deserved it (3690)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45077) - you deserved it (4772)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (3528)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41590) - you deserved it (9332)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (2818)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46581) - you deserved it (4326)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (4507)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)



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