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TorturedXeno

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TorturedXeno

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5853
  • Number of comments : 363
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>Toodle_doo</b> - yesterday at 10:45pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:22am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:22am<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:07pm<b>capblack</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:57pm<b>muzy</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Komaeda</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:31pm<b>cherries62212</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:47pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Rinat</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:45pm<b>freedomflyer12</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:23am<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:59am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 8:52am<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:54am<b>zombiecrayon173</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:51am<b>MellowWalrus</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:26am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:27am<b>mathen</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:22am

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TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (5538)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38129) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55830) - you deserved it (12472)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you deserved it (6307)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55615) - you deserved it (8452)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57869) - you deserved it (2684)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36994) - you deserved it (5686)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (3296)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34711) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (3309)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (4644)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43614) - you deserved it (3268)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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