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Offline (the 06/23/2015 at 9:27pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11734
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:31am<b>WingWalker</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:05pm<b>chrissy0</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:40am<b>shinymaster3000</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 10:29am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:40am<b>mswhatever</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:12pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:44pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:59am<b>XXX_Ehunt_XXX</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 7:35am<b>BooBerry777</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:52am<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:22am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:13am<b>ryot55</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:13am<b>tamarajaafar</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:59am

Fucked!<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:53am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:13am<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:04am

TorturedXeno's FML badges

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TorturedXeno's badges

TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (156004) - you deserved it (15785)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (443232) - you deserved it (73621)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39575) - you deserved it (85121)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (66873) - you deserved it (667281)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML


I agree, your life sucks (107236) - you deserved it (26239)

On 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm - love - by Syferix (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (80541) - you deserved it (29483)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (24988)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML


I agree, your life sucks (367214) - you deserved it (34699)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (538575) - you deserved it (37893)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML


I agree, your life sucks (70357) - you deserved it (28870)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (70634)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48198) - you deserved it (9720)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (69461) - you deserved it (2558)

On 03/05/2009 at 11:06am - animals - by nochance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (124583) - you deserved it (285803)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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