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TorturedXeno

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TorturedXeno
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 July 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 872
  • Number of comments : 278
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About TorturedXeno : Computer's busted. So if I don't reply to your message, that's why.

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TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7534) - you deserved it (75686)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

#16696125
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8667) - you deserved it (31477)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

#13630841
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend decided he hates my male best friend because they have "conflicting interests." My best friend's response? "What's his gamertag so I can shoot him in Halo?" FML

#13630841
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:58pm - misc - by MissTrix - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37772) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that Whoopi Goldberg was NOT Oprah Winfrey's stage name. I was then laughed at for ages by my co-workers. FML

#12848184
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4563) - you deserved it (38180)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by MisterMisinformed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (3113)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2223)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (6925)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (2978)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (7433)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (44520)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (17141)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8680) - you deserved it (59227)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML

#4050
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (3188)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version



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