Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TorturedXeno

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 11:57am) | Search for a member

TorturedXeno

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7105
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>Pauline96</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:32am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>slippy327</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:38am<b>Sansa</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:02pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:04am<b>MikkiMarie</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:36am<b>redflamer</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:35pm<b>Gunnie</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:20pm<b>ethan043</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:03am<b>Sophia813</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:30pm<b>extremereviews</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:33am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:12pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:21am<b>drayloon</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:02pm<b>Toodle_doo</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:22am

Liked!<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:04am

TorturedXeno's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TorturedXeno's badges

TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (6296)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7086) - you deserved it (29201)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (8245)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25531) - you deserved it (3768)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27018) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (7929)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20957) - you deserved it (3287)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26890) - you deserved it (3126)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18004) - you deserved it (1730)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (1378)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8993) - you deserved it (26585)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (12405)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: