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TorturedXeno

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TorturedXeno

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4830
  • Number of comments : 362
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>Mickwashere</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:09am<b>danibugg</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:45am<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 5:18pm<b>palestine4life</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:15pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:07pm<b>felixvdl</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:08am<b>echosong</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:45pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:35am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:19am<b>FMLifers</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:26am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:04pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:43am<b>josh8215</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:50am<b>superhtm</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:48pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:43pm<b>mamoudi</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:38am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 9:48am

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (29043)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (8094)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2136)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

#20143160
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15742) - you deserved it (7900)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (3155)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (3030)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

#20075041
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17295) - you deserved it (1673)

On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

#20037883
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (1298)

On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8941) - you deserved it (26457)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25785) - you deserved it (12303)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (16952)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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