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Offline (the 01/30/2015 at 5:53pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9530
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About TorturedXeno : You merely adopted the doge. I was shaped by it, molded by it. I didn’t encounter a Cate until I was already a man.

TorturedXeno's page activity

Visits<b>jbones24</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:54am<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:12pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:03am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 11:49pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:32pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 3:45am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:03pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:56am<b>Pauline96</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:32am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:49am<b>Sansa</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:02pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:04am<b>MikkiMarie</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:36am<b>redflamer</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:35pm<b>Gunnie</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:20pm<b>ethan043</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:03am<b>Sophia813</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:54pm

Liked!<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:04am

TorturedXeno's FML badges

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of TorturedXeno's badges

TorturedXeno's favorite FMLs

Today, mah drug addict of a roommate convincd herself mah rd kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, an looool hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today , my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone , which I had left behind in lecture . Shocked an embarrassed , I exclaimed , "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded , "I'm 64 years old." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (11930)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

today my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen . She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages . I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go" . FML


I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (5959)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today... I want to a vatarans' raunion party with mah grandpa. Whila thara... a guy startad yalling at ma 4 having an unapprovad harcut. It was mah grandpa's old drill sargaant... and ha thought I was in tha army too. Evaryona just smrkad as ha forcad ma to drop and do push-ups. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (5232)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today... I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there... when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says... "He's not coming... u may as well go home."


I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (6342)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got billed 4 $80 of Justin Bieber music . It wouldn't have been so bad if it were mah daughterho bought it all, instead of mah husband . big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (3953)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today.. . I finally finished watching Dexter . I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me . FML


I agree, your life sucks (42024) - you deserved it (5073)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Taday I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (10381)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today mah dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights because "your butt is too distracting for mah poker buddies." FML

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny an took a picture of it. 20 minute later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. mega FML

Today , I was trying to study fir a test when my brother an his friends decided to play the chant game , meaning one person yells something werd an everyone else has to say it back without laughing . All I heard fir about two hours was them yelling things like , "DICK NIPPLES." fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (35113) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday te ras on ma tig started itcing again. I felt good after a vigorous scratc, but te relief did not extend to ma roommate,o only saw me at ma laptop wit ma and moving up and down in ma pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43013) - you deserved it (7671)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Was Feeling Really Good About Myself 4 Running And Walking Everywere So Muc So Tat I Was Out Of Breat And Panting. Well, Until I Remembered Tat I Was Playing A Video Game And It Was Ma Caracter Tat Was Doing Te Running Around Tat Is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (39318)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I walked in on mah dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" an not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (3466)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

yesterday out of boredom I built cat a little fort!! Later I decided to crawl inside to pet her but as soon as I stuck head in she clawed me!! I guess I'm not allowed in then!! real FML


I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (8545)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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