Torify

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Torify

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9241
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Torify's page activity

Visits<b>Vladimiroslaw</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 6:50pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 6:37pm<b>brookb73</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:45pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:32am<b>devinthomas</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:16am<b>DoctaD23</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Luraxoxo</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:00pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Killjoy4821</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:09pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 6:34pm<b>blackmamba89</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 10:59pm<b>brooke_chook</b> - the 04/09/2010 at 5:36am<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 11:12pm<b>mauhavok</b> - the 12/20/2009 at 5:22pm<b>jelsew</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 8:16pm<b>Damone</b> - the 09/25/2009 at 7:11pm

Torify's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Torify's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

by GracelandDave / 03/19/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids