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Tori_xoxo

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Tori_xoxo
  • Town/Country : United States Of America.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 5085
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tori_xoxo : I love you ♥.

Tori_xoxo's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tori_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "Honk, honk!" FML

#3030449
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (5988)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:48pm - kids - by squeezable (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9215) - you deserved it (87764)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14121) - you deserved it (97522)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

#3011337
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (44013)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11140) - you deserved it (57806)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (54191)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (62957)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44204) - you deserved it (19227)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

#2935296
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (5199)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:35am - kids - by inboxbuddies (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46352) - you deserved it (4242)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (60448)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (60448)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (13147)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

#2912753
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (3880)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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