Tori_xoxo

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Tori_xoxo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7272
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tori_xoxo : I love you ♥.

Tori_xoxo's page activity

Visits<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:02pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:49pm<b>anne90210</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 7:02am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:41am<b>lxclark</b> - the 03/30/2010 at 11:43pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 1:21pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 6:16am<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 08/06/2009 at 3:59pm<b>Polionixon</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 10:05am<b>TLaurinda</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:27pm<b>ithedarkknight</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:52pm<b>Masta_Blasta</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 8:57am<b>IFUCKINLOVETEA</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 9:08pm<b>diki</b> - the 06/21/2009 at 5:08pm

Tori_xoxo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tori_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

by offendedfemme / 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

by uneek14 / 06/23/2009 at 10:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

by Xtine / 06/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

by Al / 06/22/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

by Kat / 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

by vballqt201 / 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

by TBaggins00 / 06/21/2009 at 3:34am / United States (Illilois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

by yuck / 06/21/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

by WhyTheFNot / 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 7:13am / Switzerland (Bern) / Intimacy

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "Honk, honk!" FML

by squeezable / 06/19/2009 at 1:48pm / United States (New York) / Transportation