ToriDiane

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Offline (the 02/02/2016 at 11:17am)

ToriDiane

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1037
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ToriDiane : my name's Tori and I like taking pictures of myself with half of my face in it.

ToriDiane's page activity

Visits<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:43am<b>Jesse_Bitch</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:48pm<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 8:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:20pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 5:45am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:25pm<b>A07</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:48am<b>Lars93</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:38am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 9:49am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>davidxflow</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:17am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:12pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:58pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:46pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 12:26pm<b>changster_</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:39pm

Fucked!<b>Devindelon</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:31pm

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ToriDiane's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

by Ruinedchristmas / 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

by wo-ow / 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

by skrumpp / 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

by Ma_Nikka / 03/19/2014 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

by Embarassed / 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

by donttouchmyhair / 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

by pale-suzie / 03/19/2014 at 8:28am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML