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TopBanana20

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TopBanana20
  • Town/Country : Dayton, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 839
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TopBanana20 : (;

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TopBanana20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (17624)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

#19761318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8540) - you deserved it (23785)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (5056)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (5056)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (6642)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (1825)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (6312)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (2886)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39288) - you deserved it (8144)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26631) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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