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Tonka_Cookie

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Tonka_Cookie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 797
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Tonka_Cookie's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Tonka_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

#19748828
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4215) - you deserved it (20774)

On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (1980)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

#19710494
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (20514)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (1196)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (28318)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (1237)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML

#19623219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19077) - you deserved it (4684)

On 05/14/2012 at 5:46pm - money - by Jon (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6043) - you deserved it (19949)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (24013)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (2523)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

#19595886
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (1467)

On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States

Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (18960) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France



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