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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Tong

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Tong
  • Town/Country : Houston, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 July 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 10077
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Tong : FMLs Make my shitty life better :)

Want to get to know me?
Myspace? www.myspace.com/nextaznfootballpro

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tong's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

#620278 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (53080)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

#516140 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (59319) - you deserved it (4428)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML

#515766 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (44066) - you deserved it (4609)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Gutted. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

#512486 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (15687)

On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (132467) - you deserved it (5866)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362731) - you deserved it (401014)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

#252783 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (50012) - you deserved it (2023)

On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (127893) - you deserved it (8055)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

#245607 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (68743) - you deserved it (22996)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

#214939 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (42506) - you deserved it (3068)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

#204455 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (40095) - you deserved it (10993)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (17174) - you deserved it (81068)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (48375) - you deserved it (8474)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (53284)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (44464) - you deserved it (11149)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)