FMLs Make my shitty life better :)
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Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you totally deserved it (47875)
On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53811) - you totally deserved it (3652)
On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you totally deserved it (3990)
On 03/21/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Gutted. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you totally deserved it (14069)
On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83133) - you totally deserved it (2467)
On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220872) - you totally deserved it (244772)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you totally deserved it (1565)
On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (109327) - you totally deserved it (5915)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57919) - you totally deserved it (18843)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then proceeded to kick me in the face and run. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38724) - you totally deserved it (2555)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36167) - you totally deserved it (9771)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you totally deserved it (73374)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you totally deserved it (7687)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17956) - you totally deserved it (48554)
On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you totally deserved it (9383)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
