Tobias_Grey

Search for a member

Tobias_Grey

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23206
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tobias_Grey : Life would be better if we all did drag-racing.

Let me know if there's anything I can do for you... you know, like babysitting your first newborn child. Or something. That sort of stuff.

Tobias_Grey's page activity

Visits<b>guttedbrit</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 12:40pm<b>Poyzin7323</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:56pm<b>bryce0110</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:32pm<b>tk1e</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:08am<b>Devon2000</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm<b>facelick</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:21am<b>CamBam97</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:10am<b>Llama24</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Shluurm</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:35pm<b>saxitus</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>rolyats</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:32pm<b>Spillelister</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:02pm<b>timotay89</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 6:10am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:41am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 12:48pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 8:49am<b>linyah</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 10:08pm<b>Keattles</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 1:39pm

Tobias_Grey's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tobias_Grey's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

by LindsayK / 04/09/2009 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

by BadBreath / 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

by ineedanewjob / 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

by intranator / 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Love

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

by nothing / 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

by UGH / 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a letter from Geneseo that invited me to apply to the honors college. Excited, I wrote the required two page essay on how I am organized. I then saw the strict deadline was March 15th. My little brother thought it would be funny to hide my mail. For the past seven weeks. FML

by daremetobecooler / 04/08/2009 at 11:53am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

by StevieMe / 04/08/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

by cdoyle / 04/08/2009 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 6:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids