Toasty283

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Toasty283

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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Toasty283's page activity

Visits<b>TokioCore</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 6:38pm<b>omzz15</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:31am<b>heiboca</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:54am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 1:17am<b>Tashie96</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:00am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:42am<b>SOGbirds</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:24pm<b>Rolium</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 2:10pm<b>dragonrealm23</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 6:59am<b>ysar523</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 6:48am<b>daltonjoyce1998</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:52pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 11:41pm<b>horses1414</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:47am<b>ndndnsns</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 7:49pm<b>MyUser</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 2:08pm<b>LmfaoLmao</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 1:57pm<b>Derpet</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 1:35pm<b>iBeCareless</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:58am

Fucked!<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 6:17am

Toasty283's FML badges

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Toasty283's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

by rs / 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

by Frenchgirl / 09/15/2011 at 9:42pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

by paige / 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

by katelouise2102 / 11/29/2010 at 7:39am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids