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Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (4315)
On 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65598) - you deserved it (8077)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (94251)
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (38102)
On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42838) - you deserved it (5429)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48360) - you deserved it (6845)
On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38758) - you deserved it (12889)
On 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54502) - you deserved it (9164)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31965) - you deserved it (4439)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44627) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36651) - you deserved it (2499)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37535) - you deserved it (2749)
On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States
Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2271)
On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50159) - you deserved it (10703)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52604) - you deserved it (5515)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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