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Tlizzle

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Tlizzle

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 847
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Tlizzle's page activity

Visits<b>alex1027livi</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 4:31pm<b>thesunshotme</b> - the 01/20/2010 at 11:41pm<b>TheGuyOverThere</b> - the 12/27/2009 at 2:22pm<b>Kristin_x</b> - the 10/26/2009 at 2:35am

Tlizzle's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tlizzle's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

#9134827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8943) - you deserved it (35370)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by splitzville (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43200) - you deserved it (9580)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (2188)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (8478)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (3638)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33473) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (47576)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13405) - you deserved it (41071)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68172) - you deserved it (7715)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (96639)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181604) - you deserved it (46732)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104641) - you deserved it (6377)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

#971564
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86520) - you deserved it (5615)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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