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Timpa70

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Timpa70

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 681
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Timpa70's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:13am<b>hannahsturley</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:09am<b>mylifesF</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Deltacatt</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Iniezian</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 5:27am<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:27am<b>cakesordeath</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:05am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 7:05am<b>Oliok</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 9:46am<b>ConfusedStories</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:48pm<b>NLM22</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 3:54pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:19am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:43pm<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:39pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:23pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:27am<b>incognitogirl</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:10am

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Timpa70's favorite FMLs

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33993) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (3294)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (1746)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (3300)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (4470)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (5703)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50534) - you deserved it (9198)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42240) - you deserved it (5984)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (13825)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (27743)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (26306)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

#21163809
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (3310)

On 06/05/2014 at 11:16am - work - by DarkSerebii (woman) - United States



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