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Timmerz84

Offline (the 10/08/2014 at 5:38pm) | Search for a member

Timmerz84

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 233
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Timmerz84 : Toronto Maple Leafs.



That is all.

Timmerz84's page activity

Visits<b>caseystick18</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:11pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:35pm<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:35pm<b>teddy4nyy</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:17pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:59pm

Timmerz84's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Timmerz84's badges

Timmerz84's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47731) - you deserved it (11699)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54092) - you deserved it (4797)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (16191)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49784) - you deserved it (6240)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48720) - you deserved it (3843)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56028) - you deserved it (9003)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (48551)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43129) - you deserved it (5105)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (3958)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46240) - you deserved it (2644)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (15053)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (3884)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (6712)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46941) - you deserved it (19370)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49177) - you deserved it (3139)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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