TimeDisposalEngi

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TimeDisposalEngi

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2206
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TimeDisposalEngi : As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

TimeDisposalEngi's page activity

Visits<b>Nephilim896</b> - the 10/23/2016 at 2:02pm<b>GrantedTexas356</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:06pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:59pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 9:10pm<b>Exorcio</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:27pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:36pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:15am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:00am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:16am<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:11pm<b>stevethellama</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>dancechick22</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:16am<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:48pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:58am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:03am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:16pm<b>jguseman</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:31pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:22pm

Fucked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:22am

TimeDisposalEngi's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TimeDisposalEngi's badges

TimeDisposalEngi's favorite FMLs

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

by Anon / 05/18/2011 at 7:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

by welly223 / 01/20/2011 at 1:01am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

by Jumja / 01/15/2010 at 6:37am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Love

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 9:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

by Kimberly / 07/25/2009 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

by newsgirl / 07/16/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy