TimeDisposalEngi

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TimeDisposalEngi

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1780
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About TimeDisposalEngi : As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

TimeDisposalEngi's page activity

Visits<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:36pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:15am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:00am<b>groovycrazyjoe</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:16am<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:11pm<b>stevethellama</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>dancechick22</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:16am<b>LadyGagasNipple</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:48pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:58am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:03am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:16pm<b>jguseman</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:31pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:22pm<b>technomaster</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:26am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:32am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:01am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:23am

Fucked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:22am

TimeDisposalEngi's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of TimeDisposalEngi's badges

TimeDisposalEngi's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

by bobthenun / 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, four days after our fridge-freezer broke down, my husband staggered home with three bags of ham. He drunkenly bought it with most of what little money we have, so now not only is our food budget gone, we also have a metric cunt-load of ham, and nowhere to store it. FML

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

by it's just a name / 01/10/2013 at 12:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids