This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19156) - you totally deserved it (796)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you totally deserved it (1503)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13550) - you totally deserved it (3679)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you totally deserved it (37453)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you totally deserved it (12620)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you totally deserved it (8005)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then proceeded to call out my own name by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you totally deserved it (66980)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4323) - you totally deserved it (53805)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
