About ThriceWritten : I'm a writer and a college student. Just here for fun. Nothing special.
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ThriceWritten's favorite FMLs
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by UhOh / 07/08/2011 at 4:38pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by killercow / 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love
by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…