About ThriceWritten : I'm a writer and a college student. Just here for fun. Nothing special.
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ThriceWritten's favorite FMLs
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by me / 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by bellerz14 / 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
by Jean / 12/22/2011 at 3:09am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/08/2011 at 6:55am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…