Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

This_Guy

Search for a member

This_Guy
  • Town/Country : Normal, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56938
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

This_Guy's last visitors

cnparks1990alexmac222EmeraldRaritymai12oldjakke

This_Guy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

This_Guy's favorite FMLs

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384618) - you deserved it (61661)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I barely pass my physics test with a 52. With anger I tore up the test in many small pieces and threw it out. As the class was taking the test up, the teacher found a mistake in the marking and asked us to return them back to him so he can change our grade. I would have gotten an 80. FML

#731788
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (82540)

On 03/31/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML

#722457
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79270) - you deserved it (7709)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:35am - intimacy - by CBBP (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159131) - you deserved it (9651)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

#719955
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66836) - you deserved it (4172)

On 03/31/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Krissy. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124041) - you deserved it (13809)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86970) - you deserved it (12129)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99968) - you deserved it (7237)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

#637749
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88810) - you deserved it (8347)

On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80720) - you deserved it (30129)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116400) - you deserved it (11402)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66021) - you deserved it (22436)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML

#296354
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12220) - you deserved it (61327)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43974) - you deserved it (13049)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: