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Thinkgeek's favorite FMLs
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
by fuckingdieyouoldhag / 05/20/2014 at 4:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 4:31am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm / United States / Kids
by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ballplaya52 / 12/08/2013 at 12:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by eer004 / 12/07/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML
by Thanksalot / 11/30/2013 at 12:58am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
- Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden… Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds… Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the…