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Think_Of_Him

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 11:45pm) | Search for a member

Think_Of_Him

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 310
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Think_Of_Him's page activity

Visits<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 6:47pm<b>_briianna</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 4:16pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:30am

Think_Of_Him's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Think_Of_Him's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (9324)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29609) - you deserved it (13077)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23585) - you deserved it (15105)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38592) - you deserved it (10861)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (8250)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (5777)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (6996)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49369) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49962) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38272) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57382) - you deserved it (6799)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5049) - you deserved it (42055)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42335) - you deserved it (9163)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25538) - you deserved it (3856)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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