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Thexba

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Thexba

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  • Number of visits : 246
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Thexba's page activity

Visits<b>k1tt1e</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:43pm<b>gaby_lanoue</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:32am<b>yourlifesucksHA</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 8:43pm<b>olpally</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:22pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 12:30pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Tommiix</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:03pm

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Thexba's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54088) - you deserved it (4797)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63707) - you deserved it (8101)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37767) - you deserved it (20056)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60062) - you deserved it (13591)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41245) - you deserved it (10491)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49752) - you deserved it (9950)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47157) - you deserved it (17106)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45791) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (8980)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (4282)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (3093)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (5200)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

#13357555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9219) - you deserved it (29751)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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