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The_Lazarus

Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 8:49am) | Search for a member

The_Lazarus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 271
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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The_Lazarus's page activity

Visits<b>masyn_rae</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Santiago1222</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:05pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:47am

The_Lazarus's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of The_Lazarus's badges

The_Lazarus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (5330)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you deserved it (10556)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32338) - you deserved it (19049)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (4623)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm - love - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you deserved it (3467)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

#21256116
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (16320)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:33am - misc - by lolwut - United States (Oregon)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35985) - you deserved it (3035)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)



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