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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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The_Cait

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The_Cait
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 May 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 57185
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About The_Cait : 20 year old college graduate [graduated when I was 18]. Boring. Dorky. Casual comic book lover. Hockey fan. kgb_ Special Agent. None of this is an exaggeration...honestly, I have proof if you want it.

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The_Cait's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

#4246082 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (63768) - you deserved it (3607)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

#3159072 (341)

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (57364)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (64131) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (67653) - you deserved it (3585)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML

#1694606 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (48697) - you deserved it (2160)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (80424) - you deserved it (15489)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81568) - you deserved it (11214)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

#1192278 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (11958)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (51634) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (70771)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (9654) - you deserved it (80933)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the gynocologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

#1153629 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (59508) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

#1135948 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (91784) - you deserved it (8816)

On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

#1127830 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (46948) - you deserved it (2159)

On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (51299) - you deserved it (9463)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)