Bitch please
Today, my friend and I were in her moms car talking about which job was harder: actor or artist. I said, "Art is easy. You just scribble on a piece of paper and call it abstract art." Her mom squinted at me in the rearview mirror and my friend stopped talking. Then she said, "My mom is an artist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7490) - you totally deserved it (28915)
On 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by URGH (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3431) - you totally deserved it (43526)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you totally deserved it (6433)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44130) - you totally deserved it (15342)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (70790) - you totally deserved it (2327)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (158817) - you totally deserved it (10778)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you totally deserved it (10713)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
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