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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (18768)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States
Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7509) - you deserved it (16341)
On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)
Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4774) - you deserved it (55570)
On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - work - by Username -
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59836) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32299) - you deserved it (2002)
On 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Pox (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35786) - you deserved it (7796)
On 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5446) - you deserved it (51552)
On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29334) - you deserved it (3419)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (2024)
On 02/02/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (1811)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14868) - you deserved it (33231)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (3852)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7515) - you deserved it (27952)
On 02/01/2011 at 5:35am - work - by mmaisie (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (2795)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by Stormbringer -
Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (2242)
On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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