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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 July 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3597
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About TheTwistedOtaku : Follow me on Instagram -

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


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TheTwistedOtaku's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (3361)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (2668)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (6545)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (2813)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (2998)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32178) - you deserved it (25052)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (14013)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (4835)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (4126)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38678) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (2019)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40907) - you deserved it (5309) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

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