TheTwistedOtaku

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TheTwistedOtaku

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 July 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4205
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About TheTwistedOtaku : Follow me on Instagram -
Kayra_Marie

TheTwistedOtaku's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 11:33am<b>FaintXxJoexX</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 5:47pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 3:44pm<b>citrusglass</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:36pm<b>rainbowsRlove</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 12:31pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:09am<b>CloudyFromSteam</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:11am<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 7:23am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:58pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:33am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:26am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:06pm<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:58am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:13am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:39am<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:32pm<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:16pm

Fucked!<b>delfino1604</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:09am

TheTwistedOtaku's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of TheTwistedOtaku's badges

TheTwistedOtaku's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

by farrahfarrest_ / 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

by ZZ / 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

by Ketchup / 06/22/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

by Anonymousagb / 04/24/2009 at 11:18am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

by TahRah / 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

by Noname / 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

by KWM / 02/12/2009 at 8:28am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

by douglisk1994 / 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy