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TheSleeper1

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TheSleeper1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 241
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheSleeper1's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:38pm<b>drumsandbrian</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:52pm<b>petergoh</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:23am<b>treesup</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:32am<b>Junekassndra</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:35pm<b>els2010</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:26am

TheSleeper1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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TheSleeper1's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35932) - you deserved it (9832)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (21109)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (3769)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43175) - you deserved it (3648)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (3531)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40397) - you deserved it (3517)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (7652)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (15211)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (45437)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40000) - you deserved it (8311)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (22547)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50900) - you deserved it (11794)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40654) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)



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