Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TheSleeper1

Online | Search for a member

TheSleeper1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 303
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TheSleeper1's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:38pm<b>drumsandbrian</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:52pm<b>petergoh</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:23am<b>treesup</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:32am<b>Junekassndra</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:35pm<b>els2010</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:26am

TheSleeper1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of TheSleeper1's badges

TheSleeper1's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

#21318538
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23987) - you deserved it (2422)

On 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35129) - you deserved it (3196)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27612) - you deserved it (7472)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (10592)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26340) - you deserved it (21783)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38429) - you deserved it (3770)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43213) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (3535)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (3518)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33362) - you deserved it (7672)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (15952)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (45454)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (8316)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (22561)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: