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TheSleeper1

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TheSleeper1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 376
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheSleeper1's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:38pm<b>drumsandbrian</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:52pm<b>petergoh</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:23am<b>treesup</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:32am<b>Junekassndra</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:35pm<b>els2010</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:26am

TheSleeper1's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of TheSleeper1's badges

TheSleeper1's favorite FMLs

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (4167)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (6237)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32124) - you deserved it (4795)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3210)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (7512)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38190) - you deserved it (10769)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (22101)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (3773)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43260) - you deserved it (3652)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (3523)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (7687)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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