TheRuined

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Offline (the 03/21/2016 at 9:29pm)

TheRuined

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2501
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheRuined's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:51am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:05pm<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Maddy_Moore</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:20pm<b>simplyjeanful</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Realhomesley</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:01pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:35am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:50pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:23am<b>TheIronProdijay</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:49pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:21pm<b>melinal</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:59pm<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:53am<b>BossCactus87</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 7:44am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:13am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:56pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:14pm<b>1uw</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:39pm

TheRuined's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of TheRuined's badges

TheRuined's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

by iblamethetories / 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Money

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

by Juiced / 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

by :$ / 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

by skrillexblewme / 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Transportation

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

by butterball / 07/18/2012 at 10:41am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

by offended / 06/14/2012 at 4:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 10:29am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

by wetdreams / 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous