TheRuined

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Offline (the 03/21/2016 at 9:29pm)

TheRuined

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2837
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheRuined's page activity

Visits<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:51am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:05pm<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Maddy_Moore</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:20pm<b>simplyjeanful</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Realhomesley</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:01pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:35am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:50pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:23am<b>TheIronProdijay</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:49pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:21pm<b>melinal</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:59pm<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:53am<b>BossCactus87</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 7:44am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:13am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:56pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:14pm

TheRuined's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of TheRuined's badges

TheRuined's favorite FMLs

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

by muffin / 07/16/2013 at 8:01am / Austria / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

by notarobber / 05/15/2013 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

by Alice / 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids