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TheRuined

Offline (the 12/08/2014 at 7:26pm) | Search for a member

TheRuined

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1520
  • Number of comments : 210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheRuined's page activity

Visits<b>Maddy_Moore</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:20pm<b>simplyjeanful</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:54pm<b>Realhomesley</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:01pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:35am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:50pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:23am<b>TheIronProdijay</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:49pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:21pm<b>melinal</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:59pm<b>PotterHead_DH</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:53am<b>BossCactus87</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 7:44am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:13am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:56pm<b>c8linc</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:14pm<b>1uw</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:39pm<b>chuggaa11111111</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:38pm<b>warsun</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Velandre</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 2:58pm

TheRuined's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of TheRuined's badges

TheRuined's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45439) - you deserved it (4518)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (7502)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63719) - you deserved it (8110)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48159) - you deserved it (17181)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48915) - you deserved it (4335)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

#20817414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44276) - you deserved it (3969)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56840) - you deserved it (5524)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53531) - you deserved it (8515)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44574) - you deserved it (9619)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56240) - you deserved it (9325)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57501) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4158)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (50521)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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