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TheRuined

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TheRuined
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TheRuined's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (4445)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

#20890169
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm - love - by gemtas5 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (5165)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50157) - you deserved it (25049)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (4783)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49653) - you deserved it (19872)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (62768)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36375) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41665) - you deserved it (3198)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (3794)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (2990)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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