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TheRuined's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML
by gemtas5 / 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love
by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML
by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML
by -___- / 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by StefanKa / 09/09/2013 at 5:30am / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Animals
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by grossedout / 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
by Parenting... / 08/27/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over… Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I… Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show…