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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (2825)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38111) - you deserved it (8494)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53775) - you deserved it (7634)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (6125)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (5410)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19135) - you deserved it (1931)
On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States
Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16985) - you deserved it (2072)
On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (2161)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (3162)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (4575)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13180) - you deserved it (3474)
On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16521) - you deserved it (3267)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15548) - you deserved it (1741)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Juiced (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (3665)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Friday 24 May 2013
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