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ThePolloBandito

Offline (the 02/12/2014 at 5:45am) | Search for a member

ThePolloBandito

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 November 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 994
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ThePolloBandito : FINLAND!

ThePolloBandito's page activity

Visits<b>LowLives</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:01am<b>Llamacod</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:47pm

ThePolloBandito's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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ThePolloBandito's favorite FMLs

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

#20788409
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (3436)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27899) - you deserved it (49780)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56315) - you deserved it (6673)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45794) - you deserved it (8981)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I received a text from my dad, which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replied, jokingly asked if he had a stroke while writing it. A few seconds after hitting send, I remembered the stroke he suffered last month. FML

#20777593
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20367) - you deserved it (49414)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (13179)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75947) - you deserved it (3698)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45818) - you deserved it (4340)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (50477)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48692) - you deserved it (4602)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58543) - you deserved it (3812)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49467) - you deserved it (4953)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (6602)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57635) - you deserved it (15912)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (47707)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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