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ThePolloBandito

Offline (the 02/12/2014 at 5:45am) | Search for a member

ThePolloBandito

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 November 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1223
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ThePolloBandito : FINLAND!

ThePolloBandito's page activity

Visits<b>LowLives</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 11:01am<b>Llamacod</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 10:47pm

ThePolloBandito's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Perfectionist

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See all of ThePolloBandito's badges

ThePolloBandito's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML

#19720849
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (6587)

On 06/02/2012 at 12:55pm - love - by Norwegian (man) - Norway

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (2605)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (2282)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (3838)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

#19657382
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5314) - you deserved it (30448)

On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6853) - you deserved it (35281)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14923) - you deserved it (27598)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

#19617279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (2943)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:54pm - kids - by just me (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

#19616275
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (3564)

On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19619) - you deserved it (3951)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (2238)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (2123)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML

#19536164
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (2183)

On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (4220)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)



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